Being in a long term relationship can be challenging, especially when you throw in a few kids and some responsibilities. It can be hard to consistently give it your all to your relationship. However there are a few things I’ve learned over the years that can make a big difference to the quality of your relationships. Small changes can result in a big change over the long term, so if you’re looking to bring more passion into your relationship without breaking the bank, keep reading for some great ideas!
1. Read Books Together
Reading is such a great way to learn more about yourself and the world around you. Having a book club with your partner can be a great way to learn things together, and it’s relatively inexpensive. You can choose to learn a new skill together, read books about how to improve your relationship, or even read a steamy novel together. That can be a great way to get a little more excitement happening between the sheets. You can even read books to learn more about sexuality, like queer meaning and how it might be relevant for you, in whatever kind of relationship you’re in. Having your own personal book club is a great way to have new, interesting things to discuss. Reading books is a wonderful way to create a new level of intimacy that you might not have otherwise had in your relationship.
2. Watch Steamy Shows Together
There are some shows that are a little more steamy. Without noticing, you’ll probably be turned on, even just a little bit. You can then use that sexual energy to have some fun experiences with your partner. While full on porn might be too much for your relationship, watching tv shows that are sexy and exciting can be a great way to subconsciously get your partner in the mood for some fun. If you’re looking to save money but still want to spice up your relationship, you can try using the whole Netflix and chill vibes. It can also be a good idea to alternate who chooses the shows so that you’re sure you’re both getting to watch something that’s exciting for each of you.
3. Give Each Other Massages
Being sensual with each other is a great way to build up excitement and anticipation. There’s not much more in life that’s sexier than your partner covered in a delicious smelling oil and getting a lot of physical contact in. You can even try doing a little role play with this if it feels comfortable for you. Be sure to set up the room/zone properly by lighting candles, having a nice scent going and so on. You’ll want to choose music that is sensual and inviting, and just see where the evening goes!
4. Develop Your Intimacy
One thing that can really improve your sex life but doesn’t involve anything to do with the body is developing intimacy. The more emotionally connected you are, the more intimate and exciting your sex life can be. There are many different ways you can develop intimacy with a partner. One of my favourite ways is by using a fun app, like Agape, which gives you both questions each day to answer. As you answer them, it will reveal your partners answer so you can’t see what they’re thinking or feeling until you share your side. Be sure to lean into your natural energy, because that can also help to develop your intimacy with your partner. If you’re a woman, lean into your feminine energy, and if you’re a man, lean into your masculine energy to encourage a stronger bond.
5. Explore Your Desires Together
Why not create a safe open space where you can express your desires. This can be both sexual desires, but also long term desires for where you’d like the relationship to go. Being able to create open, honest dialogue about what you both want is a great way to ensure your needs are being met in the relationship, but also ensuring that you can meet your partner’s needs too. Make it a safe space so you can ask interesting questions to the other, such as How does technosexuality work? Being able to answer the hard or tricky questions without judgement can do wonders for your intimacy, security and ability to see and meet your partner’s needs. Life is too short to be in a relationship where you’re not meeting your potential and not getting to experience what you want.
Finding ways to bring more passion into your relationship doesn’t have to be hard or expensive. Often all it requires is ongoing work from both sides and a conceded effort to be open and honest. There are so many great ways you can bring passion into your lives and I hope these tips give you some interesting ideas. Let me know in the comments below if you have any tips for creating a new level of intimacy and excitement in your relationship.